Continued. A Story By Pastor Dunamis
Before I knew it, Tom had violated me.
There was blood everywhere and I wept the more.
Tom took turns at holding my legs and Charles prepared to take his turn on me. At that point, I was livid. With every inch of strength in me and every fibre of my being, I pushed Charles away and at the same time kicked at Tom.
Tom’s head hit one of the legs of the table, sending all the books, plates and glass cups on the table across the room. Tom stood up, with visible pain and looked for his belt.
That was to be my saving grace! With all his might he swung the buckle end of the belt at me. The buckle caught the chord of the sound system and pulled it out of the wall socket.
Silence, unbelievably descended on the room, while everybody stood transfixed for a few seconds. The belt dropped from his hand and he ran for the sound system to connect it back. But that moment was all I needed. Charles made to cover my mouth, but he was too late.
A loud, audacious and piercing scream that penetrated the darkness of the night escaped my bleeding lips.
In a jiffy, they both grabbed their trousers and ran from the room. As I laid down there weeping profusely, a few people came to the room. My scream had attracted them. They knew something was wrong when they heard the painful scream of a lady in the hall of a hundred guys.
I could not even muster enough strength to cover myself, I only muttered, “they raped me!”
“Who?” They asked repeatedly. “Where are they?”
“Charles and his friend, they just ran out,” I managed to say.
The evidences were all there. A guy took his phones and took the pictures of the bed. One of the boys got me a shirt and covered me. That same morning, I was moved to the nearest hospital at 4.30am by the hall porter who came later on. He could not believe his eyes and he promised to deal with the boys. The hall security men fished out Charles and Tom and handed them over to the Police. They were rusticated from the school eventually.
When I got to the hospital and after the nurses have taken every sample they needed for tests, I requested to use the bathroom. They asked me to wait a few minutes so that Policemen can take evidences before I use the bathroom. This was not easy for me but I had to comply.
The Policemen were professionals, as they did not question me endlessly and unnecessarily. That would have left me worse, in their attempt to investigate, they would have added to the trauma. But their questions were few as they already had all the evidences they needed from the scene of crime. After they were through, I spent hours in the bathroom until the nurses became worried I was hurting myself.
I scrubbed and scrubbed my body wishing I could wash off all the pain within. My first consolation and hope was when the results came out and the two major tests, HIV and Pregnancy tests were negative.
It is now over a year.
My healing did come, but it was a long slow process. I discovered that I needed more inner healing than the physical bruises I had. Long after the physical healings, pains from emotional rape continued to ache within. The more I held on to my pains, the more my life had no meaning.
Looking back with hindsight, I could see my misdemeanors.
I was naïve. I had no mentor. I wanted it my own way, hence the consequences. I was not close to God, and that defined the kind of friends I was surrounded with.
I was unsuspecting. Charles and Tom actually used syringe and needle to inject the Juice I drank and didn’t need to open it.
The greatest decision I took was to start counseling immediately. That really helped me a lot to manage my Rape Trauma Syndrome. This is the natural response of a psychologically healthy person to the trauma of rape.
After the rape, I was in shock. I had eating disorders and could hardly sleep. I didn’t want to be alone, I started stuttering and little things would easily upset me. I actually lost a semester in school as I was afraid to go back to school. I was angry with myself and angry with Tom and Charles.
If you think I was raped, you are right. If you think I was battered, you are right. If you think I was shattered, you are right. If you think, I couldn’t be fixed, you are wrong!
I knew I was healed when I could recall the trauma of that day coherently without feelings of shame, hate and regret. I knew I was healed when I could separate my own mistakes from the responsibility of the abuse which is on the perpetrators. I thank God because at the end, I had moved from being a victim to being a survivor.
I had to deal with unforgiving spirit. Despite what they did, I had to let go. Until I forgave them, I was not healed. The power to forgive didn’t come naturally, it came from God who aided, cleansed and reassured me.
I had to forget. Not as in amnesia, though. I forgot the pain. I let go of the past. Now, I am wiser and have grown better.
(c) DUNAMIS TUNDE OKUNOWO
Facilitator, Kisses and Huggs Club