Forty Years To Find A Spouse?

Forty Years To Find A Spouse?

Some time last week, we discussed the topic ‘Capacity to love and be loved’ where we saw how God routed the Israelites through the wilderness, which was a longer way, when taking them to their promised land, instead of leading them in a 40-day journey through the land of the Philistines.

And the simple reason was because they lacked CAPACITY.

Today, we pick up the story from there.

So the Israelites are in the wilderness now. And we see them spending 40 years in that wilderness before getting to their promised land!

Imagine if it took you 40years to find your promised spouse? You can’t imagine it right?

But that’s exactly the picture here! It took the Israelites 40years to get to their promised land, a journey that would have taken 40days!

No, that wasn’t normal! The wilderness route was definitely longer than 40days, but definitely shorter than 40years too!

Question now is “What extended their time in the wilderness?”

Let’s see.

The wilderness is meant to be a place where God meets you, trains and equips you for what is to come, and then releases you when He has certified you.

So, in the wilderness, God showed up to train the Israelites. He revealed Himself to the them. He showed the Israelites His strength. He led them via a fiery pillar of cloud covering and lifting from the tabernacle. He rained manna from above. Then He sent quail. And lots more.

The Israelites witnessed God’s glory and signs (Numbers 14:12), but unfortunately, they weren’t learning the lessons. They didn’t ponder on the things they were seeing to understand them.

They didn’t put them in their heart to remember them. And so their faith in God didn’t grow. They had a track record for that! [I hope you don’t have that track record?]

“Our fathers in Egypt did not understand Your wonders; They did not remember the multitude of Your mercies, But rebelled by the sea—the Red Sea.” Psalms 106:7 NKJV

And so when the test of faith came, they failed. When it was time to show faith in God, which would have launched them into their promised land immediately, unbelief was revealed instead!

It happened when they were already at the verge of the Promised Land. 12 spies were sent to survey the land. 10 came back with reports of “We cannot take that land! We were like grasshoppers in the eyes of the occupants of the land.”

And the people believed the report of the 10!

This revealed they had not built capacity still! That they had not learnt the lessons of the wilderness. So the Israelites failed their lesson on faith! And God had to wait for the unbelieving generation to pass away, and that took 40years!

So their inability to learn the lessons of the wilderness, revealed by their lack of faith in God (in His Word and His Promise), cost the Israelites extra years!

Dear friend, The earlier you accept the wilderness, and take on the lessons of the wilderness, the earlier you are likely to emerge into your promised land.

Take your time of singleness as your wilderness experience.

Don’t grumble there. Don’t murmur there.

Don’t grow restless and restive there.

Don’t become paranoid there.

Don’t get angry at God.

Instead be careful to learn all the lessons God is bringing your way. Lessons of faith and exploits, of faithfulness and fidelity, of patience and longsuffering, of submission and love, of giving and spending. Allow God deal with your anger issue.

And as God is dealing with you, also know that He is dealing with your spouse. And I bet you don’t want to receive a spouse that has not completed his/her lessons with God.

So be at peace in the wilderness.

Learn there.

Build capacity.

Finally, don’t falter at the promise of God through unbelief!

Has God said it? Then believe it!

Trust God for whatever He has promised… it will come to pass.

I pray for you: You will not falter at the verge of your promised land (your breakthrough) because of unbelief!

I am at peace in my wilderness… I learn all my lessons.

Pray in the spirit.”Lord, teach me Your ways, even in my singlehood.”

Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. Hebrews 4:11 KJV

Think of the areas you know God is dealing with in your life, and be more deliberate in yielding to Him in that area.

Numbers 13-14

The Capacity To Love And Be Loved

The Capacity To Love And Be Loved

Quick questions on love:

If you receive your lover now, can you date without locking your legs in Jeru trip? Hebrews 13:4

If you get married this year, do you have the capacity to MAKE a home? Titus 2:4-5 (NKJV)

If you get married now, do you know how to stay drunk only on your spouse’s love? Proverbs 5:19 (ERV)

If you have children now, do you have the capacity to train them as godly seeds unto the Lord? Malachi 2:15

I was speaking with my brother recently, and he made a very strong point. He opined that we, most times, are the ones that prolong the manifestation of the blessings of the Lord upon our lives.

The case under consideration was the journey of the Israelites from Egypt to the land of Canaan.

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That journey would have taken 40 days had they travelled via a particular route, but God made them journey through the wilderness, a longer way!

“Then it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, “Lest perhaps the people change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt.” So God led the people around by way of the wilderness of the Red Sea…” Exodus 13:17-18 NKJV

Because of a lack of CAPACITY!

They didn’t have the capacity to take on the Philistines they would have met had they travelled through the 40 days route!

So we note that God was willing to hand over the land of Canaan to the Israelites immediately, but they didn’t have the capacity to take the land immediately!

Beloved, God may be willing to hand over your blessings, including your love/spouse, to you, but the big question is: Do you have the capacity to take/handle that blessing?


It’s not in the character of God to hand over something to you that you don’t have the capacity to handle!

God doesn’t want His blessing to be your destroying force, and so He holds back till you grow up.

Now let me bring this point home with an example.

When you receive your lover and you’re in courtship, the desire to explore one another’s body will be there… there will be strong sexual attraction.
So God will therefore desire for us to build capacity to the point that we can be in a relationship with our lover, and yet not cower under that pressure… and yet not compromise with Jeru trip.

CAPACITY is key!

Do you have the capacity?

So our prayers should not only be “Lord, bless me… send my lover to me!”, it should also be “Lord, increase my capacity… help me build what it takes to handle my lover… what it takes to be a lover, father/mother, husband/wife, etc.”

Once we build the required capacity to handle what God wants to bring into our lives, it won’t be long and that which is to come will come.


Finally, see this:

“Enlarge the place of your tent, And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; Do not spare; Lengthen your cords, And strengthen your stakes. For you shall expand to the right and to the left, And your descendants will inherit the nations, And make the desolate cities inhabited. Isaiah 54:2-3 NKJV

Did you see that instruction?

Because the Lord wants to expand you tremendously… because He wants to add a lover to you, a befitting job/business to you, increase to you, etc… He instructs…

Enlarge your tents… stretch out… lengthen… strengthen… in essence, BUILD CAPACITY TO BE ABLE TO HOLD THAT WHICH IS COMING!

So because of a lack of capacity, God passed the Israelites through the wilderness, to shield them from what was above them [1 Corinthians 10:13], and also to train them, to build the capacity in them required for taking their promised land.

What happened in the wilderness?

Why did the journey take them 40 years?

Keep watching this space.

Blessed? Then share for others.

I am strengthened to take that which God has in mind for me. I enlarge… I take root downwards…

“Fear not, you WORM Jacob,… I will help you,” says the Lord… “Behold, I will MAKE you into a new threshing sledge with sharp teeth…” Isaiah 41:14-15 NKJV Lord MAKE ME!

God doesn’t want His blessing to be your destroying force, and so He holds back till you grow up.

Work out a daily to-do list on how to build capacity… times of prayer, Scripture study, reading of Christian literature, etc.

Luke 4:1-15

The Voice Of Your Lover

The Voice Of Your Lover

Getting to your lover was not designed to be difficult! You know why?

Because you were not meant to do it on your own. You were meant to receive help (guidance) from the spirit realm.

Part of the reason it may seem one hell of a task getting a lover may be because you’ve not really acquainted yourself with the ways of Your Guide.

Let me start this way.

Do you really know that there’s a Voice that wants to lead you in the right way so you can meet your lover? I mean, is it in your consciousness that you are not alone in this business?

That’s where it actually starts from… because you cannot experience what you are not conscious of.

And yes, you need guidance in this business [many there be that have lost their lives (figuratively and literally) because they shi-married.]

Imagine that your right lover is at the end of ‘Peace Avenue’, and you are headed down ‘Anxiety Street’. You would meet a lover, but you would agree with me that s/he would be all shades of wrong!

But Your Guide doesn’t want you to end up with the lover at the end of

Anxiety Street! So the voice calls out to you, right from the point you missed your way, and directs you aright, so you can meet your lover.
Hmmmm… what a beauty!

I think the Scripture says it better even!


“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.”

Isaiah 30:21 NKJV

Isn’t that beautiful? To know that we are not alone.

There’s a Voice, the Voice of the Lord, that desires to lead us in the right way…



You are still a part of the equation, and so you have a role to play.

Let’s note two of our roles from that Scripture:

1. You must develop ears!

The Voice could speak from before the foundations of the world till the end of times, but if you don’t have ears, you will hear nothing!

So as a single, you must develop ears for the Lord.

Of course you know I’m not talking about physical ears now.

You must work at growing in your sensitivity to the Spirit of God. You must seek to be able to discern His promptings, His nudging, His intuitions in you, etc.

You do this by consistently spending quality (includes quantity also) time with God. You grow familiar with someone you spend time with right?

If your mum calls you from behind, and you can’t recognize her voice, then there must be something wrong… with you!

So as you spend time with God, you become increasingly sensitive to Him, such that you can discern His Voice when He calls from behind you to guide you.

2. You must obey.

Many of us are not progressing, not because we are not hearing, but because we are not obeying.

You know why the Voice is calling from behind you? That’s the last point of your obedience, before you veered off in disobedience.

The more you obey the Voice of the Lord, the more you open up yourself to His Voice! Don’t really expect to hear more when you’ve not obeyed the one you’ve heard. The Voice will keep calling you back, “This is the way!”

Has the Lord instructed you to do anything? It could be a personal adjustment (e.g. to stop gossiping, listening to secular songs, to let go of an offence, etc.)… an assignment (e.g. to start a monthly reach out to homeless folks, etc.)… anything at all… Then it’s time to obey.

Remember, your obedience opens you up to more.

Our walk with God is simply a walk of hearing and obeying!

When you listen and obey in ‘little’ issues, it won’t be difficult for you to little and obey the Voice leading you to your lover.

I have ears for the Voice of the Lord, and I obey.

“The hearing ear and the seeing eye, The Lord has made them both.” Proverbs 20:12 NKJV Pray for the hearing ear!

Our walk with God is simply a walk of hearing and obeying!

Ponder. Is there any Voice I’ve not obeyed? Then seek to obey.

John 16:5-15

How To Break That Body For Your Lover

How To Break That Body For Your Lover

I believe you’ve bought that family-sized loaf of bread… even if it’s just once.

Now, did you dip the whole loaf at once into your cup of tea?
I doubt!

You broke the bread before eating.

So the loaf became useful only after it was BROKEN!

Now that’s in the physical. But it also applies in the spiritual realm.
Have you ever wondered why Jesus BROKE the bread before passing it to His disciples who then passed it to the multitude, and five loaves fed five thousand men, aside women and children? Matthew 14:19.

It was not just so the disciples could have the bread in small bits! It had a spiritual connotation.

Have you ever wondered why Jesus broke the bread, during the last supper, before giving it to His disciples, saying, “…this is My body which is BROKEN for you…”? 1 Corinthians 11:24.

Now you are thinking right?


Nothing ever attains usefulness without first being BROKEN.

No life ever fully serves God’s purpose without first being BROKEN.

Therefore to effectively serve the purpose of God in the life of your lover, you must be BROKEN for him/her.

And your being BROKEN must start from your season of singleness… not when you get married!

So while you wait for your lover, don’t just sit idly… get BROKEN for him/her.

It is only when you’re BROKEN that God can have access to your inward parts to work in you and make you suitable for that lover you’ve been praying about.

When you’re BROKEN, you have no hold over your life… self loses grip on you; every aspect of your life is presented to God.

Then God begins to touch and correct EVERY single detail of your life… He touches your pursuits, your ambitions, your career, your family and friends, your music taste, your relationship with people, your pride, your ego, your beauty, etc.

He is allowed into every single corner/room of your life!

And He is permitted to break… to mould… to retouch… to correct… till we are aligned to Him.

And the purpose is that we may be conformed to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Some days back, we talked about how to get your house ready for your lover.

But the truth is that it’s only when God has BROKEN you that your house can begin to take shape.

Brokenness means that your whole being is open before God for Him to deal with your life how He pleases.

When He touches your music folder, and says “delete all worldly songs”, you delete immediately.

When He steps into your gist life, and says “Stop this kind of gist”, you align immediately.

When He steps into your heart, and says “forgive that person that hurt you… let go”, you forgive and let go.

When you are broken before God, you are sensitive to His Spirit, and you are responsive to His Spirit.

You read the Scriptures and align your life to Him. You eat the bread of His Word and drink the wine of His Spirit…

…and it washes away everything that is not of God… those very things that will make living with bae/boo stressful.

You see that?

So get BROKEN for bae/boo.

I am yielded to be BROKEN for my lover.

Break me Lord… mould me Lord… fill me Lord… prepare me for my lover Lord.

It is only when you’re BROKEN that God can have access to your inward parts to work in you and make you suitable for that lover you’ve been praying about.

Spend some quality time praying the prayer for the day.

Matthew 16:24-28 AMP

Getting Your House Ready To Host Your Lover

Getting Your House Ready To Host Your Lover

Have you ever had that special visitor call in to notify you that he was heading to your house, and would be there in like 20 minutes?

If your ‘humanometer’ is reading normal and your house is looking abnormal, then your actions are likely predictable. You will swing into action!

First you change into your superman mode.

In one sweep, the dirty clothes lying here and there enter the laundry basket.

In another sweep, the banana peels and groundnut wraps lying on the table find themselves in the waste bin, and the waste bin finds itself outside!

Next. You make your bed tidy.

And then in not more than 2 minutes, you remove the cobwebs on the walls and sweep the room.

Then you look around in satisfaction and nod.

Then you look at the clock… 10 minutes more. You give yourself a ‘high five’ and run into the bathroom.

4 minutes to the time, and you are ALL PREPARED to receive your visitor!

And the reason you were prepared was simply because you swung into action!

My dear, Do you know that your lover could come all the way right to your door; but taking a peep into your house and noticing all the mess, he will inadvertently and spontaneously declare, “Wrong address!” and take off?

It therefore means that your house must be ready to receive your lover when he/she comes!

If you are still thinking I’m talking about your literal house, I am not… hehehehe.

This is the explanation of the parable: your life is the house.
It is quite necessary you be a clean person on the outside; but it is very important your cleanliness starts from the inside.

Your life is the house. And you must clean up in order to be able to host the lover meant for you!

See what the Bible says:

“So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.” 1 Peter 2:1-3 MSG

God is commanding you to clean your house… your life!

And this is very important because your life cannot host the things God has planned for you, including your lover, if you don’t clean up!

So wisdom is not sitting idly waiting for the things God has prepared for you.

Wisdom is swinging into action to get your life ready to be able to host everything that God has prepared for you.

My dear, clean up your house! Critically examine your life. Fish out those things that are antiChrist, and trash them.

That selfishness is not of Christ; trash it!

That anger is not of Christ, trash it!

That unforgiving spirit is not of Christ; trash it!

That lust is not of Christ; trash it!

Can I hear you say “Trash it!”

That jealousy is not of Christ; trash it!

Those hurtful talks and backbiting and gossiping are not of Christ; trash them!

That laziness is not of Christ; trash it!

That irresponsibility is not of Christ; trash it!

Jeru trip as a single is not of Christ; trash it!

Pornography is not of Christ; trash it!

Masturbation is not of Christ; trash it!

Make a clean sweep of your house, and get ready for the overflow of God.

I pray for you: Receive the strength to clean your house. You are set free from every wrong habit and addiction by the Spirit of God.

And in the fullness of time, that which has been prepared for you from before times began shall come. There shall be overflow this year.


My house is not messed up.

Strength Lord… that I may clean up my house.

Wisdom is swinging into action to get your life ready to be able to host everything that God has prepared for you.

Pause and ponder through your life. Spot every mess, and take actions to remove them immediately.

1 Peter 2:1-3, Colossians 3:1-14 Protection Status
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