The Ultimate Goal In Marriage

The Ultimate Goal In Marriage

Imagine a situation in which a father sends his son on a journey to oversea his company in a neighbouring community.

While embarking on this journey, his son met a friend of his who agreed to accompany him to carry out this special assignment sent by the father.

What is simply expected of this duo is to do all they can to see to the accomplishment of this task.

They will have to bond, strategize, engage, think and sometimes disagree to agree. While doing this, they must not be distracted because some day, they will give full account back to the father, Who sent them on this assignment.

The same is true in marriage. Marriage involves two people on a journey sent by God, the One who institutes marriage. Marriage is solely His idea and as much as we want to have a blissful marriage, we should not shift our focus from Him.

How lovely will it be if my spouse and I can enjoy a good marriage here on Earth and see each other in Heaven with God on the last day!

One of the ways to truly know if you love your spouse is how interested you are in their Christian life because God is Love and love stems from Him.

A good marriage is not just based on the physical and emotional alone but also on the spiritual.

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. (1John 4:7-8)

Do you just push each other to achieve earthly goals while losing sight of the ultimate goal, which is to reign with Christ in heaven?

What efforts are you both putting together to build each other spiritually or that seems to be none of your business? How far have you both helped yourselves in your spiritual growth?

How often do you stimulate each other to godliness? Yes, you are very vibrant in the Spirit but do you care less about that of your partner?

The Bible admonishes us to encourage and build each other up

(1Thess. 5:11).
My beloved of God, place God at the centre of your marriage and constantly grow closer to Him as one united in love.

Share whatever you’ve learnt from your personal times with God.

Pray for and with each other.

Learn to trust God together especially during difficult times.

Worship God together.

Serve God together.

Keep your eyes on the ultimate goal!

God is the centre of my marriage. My spouse and I are growing consistently in our love for God and each other. Our eyes are on the ultimate goal and we won’t be distracted.

Father in the Name of Jesus, help my spouse and I to stay united in the body, soul and most importantly in the Spirit.

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Create time, not less than 30 minutes to discuss with your spouse ways you can build each other up spiritually.


Dear Couple, You Are A Team, Not Competitors

Dear Couple, You Are A Team, Not Competitors

Have you ever been to or participated in an Inter-house Sports Competition? It is usually an interesting thing to watch. I witnessed one recently and I thought to share some major lessons I learnt.

Each house comprises of quite a number of people across different ages and each age group is expected to perform activities that are peculiar to their age groups in which marks are given to the positions garnered by each house.

At the end of the day, the total marks gotten by each house is summed up and the house with the highest mark goes home with the Golden Cup.
In a case where there is disunity among the members, it has an overall effect on their performance because their strength lies in their unity. The more united the team is, the stronger they become.

This morning, I’ll like to liken marriage to Sports. Husband and wife are the members of the team and a successful marriage is the grand prize.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)

Distractions and other external forces that strives to pull down the marriage are the opponents.

The day of the competition is not the day to prepare. The members of a team would be required to have put in weeks (and sometimes months) of rigorous practice. A lot of time and energy had gone into the trainings.

Sometimes, these trainings come with lots of disagreements and discipline but then, they will be welcomed with shouts of jubilation when they eventually win.

This also applies to marriage. The process of coming together, aligning purpose and making the marriage work is not without its own unpleasant moments but patience and endurance is very key during those times as the eyes of the couple are on the Golden Cup which is to have a blissful and successful marriage.

I put it to you this morning to see your spouse as your team mate and not a competitor.

You’re not in a competition with your spouse, it’s a partnership venture. When one partner is weak, it takes a toll on both partners. When both partners are strong, then they will be able to go far together.

Hold hands together and work together to make things work and to make life more enjoyable for you both.

Until married couples learn that they are a team will they accomplish so much in their marriage. Enough of things like my spouse must not be richer than me, my spouse has bought his second car, I must buy my third, my wife now has her Masters so I must begin my Doctorate etc.

Cheer yourselves on to bring the best out of two of you.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17)

Are you willing to make your spouse your team mate and not a competitor?

Let me tell you this, you’re not alone. You’re taking up this challenge with a good number of other couples.

I see our marriages blossoming!

Our marriage is flourishing as a palm tree. Together, we are working together to put to best use our individual strengths in order to keep our marriage working. (Amen)

Father in the Name of Jesus, help my spouse and I to see ourselves as team mates and not as competitors for us to have a successful marriage.

Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. (1Cor. 1:10)

Your spouse is a team mate, not a competitor. Identify areas in which your partner has certain weaknesses and prayerfully help them to overcome it.

Ecclesiastes 4

Couple Goals Or Nay?

Couple Goals Or Nay?

Making Marriage Work

Looking at the society today, it is filled with so much negativism about life and marriage especially.

With the news of divorce and stories of failed marriages here and there, there is need to put in so much effort in our marriages too.

Marriage requires work for it to work. That couple you so much admire put so much work into theirs and I’m here to encourage you to do same in yours too.

Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3:23 AMP)

Your marriage can be another person’s goals too. Your marriage must work.

This shouldn’t be just a decision but a conviction and mindset.

Make God a priority. Make Him the number one. Understanding that you have only one source (God) and your happiness comes from Him alone is very crucial.

Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place. (Proverbs 16:3 MSG)

Learn to pray as a couple

Study the Bible together

Engage in reading challenges as husband and wife.

Do fun things together.

Find the right company, those who are willing to hold your hands and walk through this journey together.

There are lots of resources online that will keep you both motivated.

Get someone you both can be accountable too. Someone both of you can easily talk to, and someone who prays for and with you.

You’re not in a competition with your spouse, it’s a partnership venture.

When one partner is weak, it takes a toll on both partners. When both partners are strong, then they will be able to go far together.

The goal is to stay together and in love forever. Are you ready to take up this challenge?

No matter how good or bad the state of your marriage is now, it can be better. Your marriage is worth fighting for and it is definitely worth the work.

Are you willing to put in work into your marriage?

My marriage is blessed and fruitful. Divorce will not be heard in my home. I commit to making my marriage work and I see God bringing it to pass

Father in the Name of Jesus, grant me the grace to put in the required effort to make my marriage work. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, (Colossians 3:23 AMP)

Marriage requires putting in a lot of work. Identify the areas you need to work on in your marriage and begin to work on them one area at a time.

Philippians 3

Maintaining Peace And Serenity At Home

Maintaining Peace And Serenity At Home

The home is supposed to be a safe haven, a place where peace and serenity dwells but that seems not to be the case with Florence and her husband as that seems to have lost a long time ago.

Her husband, Coy, now keeps late nights and leaves before her and the kids are up. In fact, he hasn’t tasted her food going to a month now. Where did she go wrong?, she kept asking herself as she no longer finds it funny.
It is very crucial for couples to seek to maintain the peace of their home.

The home should be a place every member of the family is looking forward to return to, not some sort of battleground.

There are some homes you even enter into as a stranger and the peace in there is so thick that you can cut through.

A peaceful home does not just grow, it is built. Anything can grow on its own but a building requires adequate involvement, else it will collapse.
And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places (Isaiah 32:18)

To maintain the peace and serenity in your home, the following must be put into practice.

1. Desire a closer walk with God. God is the author of marriage. Marriage was primarily His idea, so much cannot be done in the marriage without Him. Seek answers to your questions from Him first. Ask Him to give you all the wisdom you need to run the home as He wants you to. Set up the spiritual atmosphere of your home through prayers and be consistent with it.

2. Communicate often. Let everyone in the home have a true sense of belonging. Everyone should have a say and their words should matter. Allow everyone to be part of the family decision making. When you allow your spouse and children to think through making a decision with you, it boosts their self esteem and your children will learn to make the right decisions early.

3. Let there be mutual love and respect. Show love and respect to your spouse at all times. Do not allow over-familiarity as familiarity breeds contempt. Don’t become too acquainted to your spouse and lose your respect for themShow genuine love to your spouse and every member of the family. Let everyone feel loved. Be their greatest cheerleader. Be their for them at all times.

4. Create quality time for your home. Many times, we get carried away by the busyness of life,which we cannot often control. Take charge of your time and consciously create time for your family. How often does your family enjoy healthy meals, not junks or fast-food?How often do you pray and play together? How often do you listen to one another?

Just like Proverbs 31:29 says, can your spouse and children say of you that, many spouses/parents have done virtuously but you excel them all?

Our home is peaceful and serene. We seek God daily to direct the atmosphere of our home. No bitterness of any sort will thrive in our marriage.

Father in the Name of Jesus, let your peace reign in our home. Help us to love and respect on another.

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. (Romans 14:19 KJV)

Ask your spouse for any way you can be better and work on it.

Galatians 4

Healthy Ways To Handle Conflicts In Marriage

Healthy Ways To Handle Conflicts In Marriage

Muyi and his wife seem to have made one severe mistake of marrying each other. There is never a day they don’t engage in heated arguments that keeps drifting their 9months marriage apart.
They have both concluded they were not meant for each other and that what they felt at the beginning was just a mirage that will soon disappear.

Upon confiding in his best friend, Tee, about the turbulence in his marriage, Tee gave him some words of advice that changed Muyi’s marriage for the better forever.

There is no marriage on Earth that does not have its own low times. Two people with two different genders, from two different backgrounds cannot stay together under the same roof and not disagree on many issues.

Even with our siblings that we grew up together from the first day, we disagree at different times. How much more an entirely different person we met just few years back?

Marriage is not a child’s play and only those who are willing to go all into it will enjoy its fruits. Learning to treat your spouse as a partner and not as a mere competitor is very key.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 KJV)

Your spouse will step on your toes often but you have to develop the ability to see beyond that offence and help them to be better and your marriage will be better for it.

Meeting your spouse’s mistakes with a healing response enables your marriage to grow more loving and your marriage will become a safe haven, rather than a noisy den.

Do not ever try to control your spouse, doing that will only cause him/her not to be loved and validated by you and this puts you in a danger of losing your marriage.

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. (Romans 14:19 KJV)

Let your marriage breathe love, warmth and openness. Be willing to communicate in the most loving way. Correct each other in love, without contempt.

Learn healthy ways to connect and compliment each other the way God intends from the beginning.

I see your marriage waxing stronger in love.

My marriage constantly breathes love, warmth and openness as my spouse and I are continually committed to becoming our better selves and our marriage keeps flourishing rather than deteriorating.

Father in the Name of Jesus, teach my spouse and I to resolve our conflicts the way You intend from the beginning and not to constantly drift apart with baseless arguments

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. (Romans 14:19 KJV)

Minister love to your spouse today.

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