Can You Really Live With Him or Her?

“Lucy has always being this bubbly and jovial person who enjoys being in the company of people. That was what piqued my interest in her in the first place but I just never realized that what caught my interest in her would turn out to be my worst nightmare” Bayo said.

“Hmm, interesting, go on” says Henry.

“We never seem to find a middle ground when it comes to going out. She always wants us to go out often and hang out with friends. But I have come to realize that too much social interaction drains me while that’s what energizes her. This has been our bone of contention for months now because I would really have preferred if she were introverted like me” Bayo expressed.

“Can I tell you something? The only one who has integrity in this relationship is Lucy and not you bro” says Henry.

“Haha! why would you say that?” Bayo shouted.

“You know why? Because she hasn’t changed one bit” Henry said.

“You and I both know Lucy to be this bubbly and outgoing type, this isn’t new to any of us. You saw this and still went ahead to propose to her, did you expect her to suddenly change into what she’s not just because she’s in a relationship with you? Of course not! That’s her personality and you cannot change one bit of it. It’s just like me trying to change you into an extrovert, which you are not” Henry said.

“When you know you would have preferred an introvert like you as a partner why go for the opposite?” Henry asked.

“Well, I didn’t realize early enough that her extroversion will be a problem down the line for me. It’s now I fully understand the importance of knowing ourselves first before heading into any relationship” Bayo muttered.

You see, our personality differences also influences our choices of who we marry. There are people who have been playing right from their mother’s womb and there are people that don’t fancy noise and drama. While we have the intellectual types, the reserved ones, the strong-willed, the assertive types and so on, all of these already shows personality differences in each person you come across. That’s why it’s important to know thyself first so as to know who fits you in that journey of destiny rather than entering into marriage with the mentality of trying to change your partner’s personality into what suits you.

Let me make it very clear here that there’s a huge difference between mindset and personality. You can change mindset but you almost cannot be able to change a person’s personality because personality runs deep. It’s your individual make-up that makes you different from the person sitting next to you. It’s what makes Taiwo different from Kehinde.

Listen to me, you can’t really know what you want or who you want in a relationship until you know who you are! Take some time to discover who you are dear brothers & sisters. Know the way you’re wired please; know what makes you tick as an individual, uncover your passion, your purpose and personality, which is the sum total of your temperaments, behavioural, emotional and mental attributes that makes you who you’re. Don’t ever ignore self-discovery please, it will help you a great deal. Know who you are so you can know what will best complement you out there, don’t just fall for any Dick & Harry that comes singing love your way.

So spiritual brothers out there, if you know you like them outgoing and full of drama don’t go bring an introvert who doesn’t fancy noise and start twisting her into what you want. If you like them reserved and intellectually stimulating, don’t go bring the opposite and start twisting her to your taste.

This goes to the sisters too. Don’t try to make a project out of anyone please you’ll get burned out in the process. I will not tell you to shine your eyes when it comes to picking a life partner because if you do, you’ll carry the wrong thing. I will rather you go sleep and let God lead you to the right one who you’ll not have to be twisting and ironing to your taste, after all, He created you and knows you better than you know yourself.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will not marry confusion with my hands.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Daddy lead me aright to the one you’ve tailor-made for me

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Personality differences also come into play in our choice of who we marry.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Can you truly and really live with bae or boo? Ponder on this.

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Gen 2:20-25

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  • John Oluwawalemi says:

    I am wise, I will not shi-marry

  • Jesupelumi says:

    I will not marry confusion with my hands

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