Once upon a time, you were in love, so you got married. Now, that you are married, you are no longer in love.
What went wrong?
Let’s go back to when you first fell in love.
You remember the times you forfeited your dinner, because you spent the money on airtime, so you could call her?
You remember the times when hunger didn’t mean anything to you, so long you would see her face, even for 5 minutes?
What of those cinema experiences?
Or the sleepless nights invested in planning a surprise birthday for him.
You could never imagine waking up one morning with no iota of feeling for your bae or boo.
Where did all those mushy mushy feelings go?
What about the convictions?
Did the butterflies suddenly stop flapping their wings?
This situation happens virtually to every lover and every marriage. There are times when there seem to be no wine. What do you do in such cases?
To address a problem you go to the root of the problem. So in this scenario, what is responsible for your being “out of love” can only be addressed when you know why and how it all started.
Our beloved Uncle and brother, who is a veteran in women affairs explained something to us many years back.
Prov 24:30-34 KJV
30 I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding;
31 And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.
32 Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction.
33 Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:
34 So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man.
Here, Uncle Solomon tells us marriage isn’t for the lazy. You have to constantly work at it if you want to enjoy it.
You don’t stop at falling in love. You don’t stop at walking down the aisle. You don’t stop at having babies. You have to sustain the love relationship if you don’t want the walls crumbling.
Many marriages are overgrown with nettles. Some marriages have been pricked over with thorns.
What were the things you did when you first fell in love?
You have to continue doing them.
Communication has to be constant so as to fuel the relationship. The outings have to continue. The gifts, treats, affection, and speaking of love languages have to continue.
Nothing happens suddenly.
A little neglect here, a little sweeping under the carpet there, a little procrastinating what ought to be trashed immediately…a collapse of such marital relationship is in the offing.
Another thing worthy of note was that the man Solomon observed was devoid of understanding.
You have to understand your partner. You have to understand the institution called marriage. You have to understand the male and female anatomy.
Yes, you are married and probably have children, but if you don’t play your part, you will have an overgrown farmland and the walls will come crashing eventually.
May that not be our portion. May the love of Christ be genuinely shed abroad in our marriages. May our homes be a cradle of revival and an example to many.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My marriage is not overgrown.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, give me wisdom to handle my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
What were the things you used to do before you got married that communicated love to your partner?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Answer the question above and act on them.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
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Drama minister. God lover. Relationship blogger. Pastor.