We talked about fears in marriage yesterday. How if we don’t address our fears, it can disrupt our intimacy with our spouse. We also act or behave based on our fears. You can read it HERE if you missed it.
Today, we will continue on that line, looking at practical ways to deal with fears in our marriage.
Now, I’m not talking about being afraid of rats or cockroaches and the likes. I’m talking of the fears that keep us in bondage.
Fears that keep us from fully loving our spouse and fully releasing ourselves to our spouse. Some people because they fear being controlled, they cannot submit to their husband.
Like Joyce Meyer who was abused by her father and had a troubled marriage that later ended in divorce, she was afraid of submitting to any authority figure.
She just couldn’t trust anyone, especially male authority figures in her life.
We allow the devil to access our marriage by taking a hold of us through fear.
Here are 3 helpful ways to deal with fear in our marriage.
1. Remove the fig leaves.
In Gen 3:10-14, we see Adam and Eve being afraid because they had sinned. This is the first sin in marriage. This is still happening in marriage.
We sin and then we point the finger, we accuse our spouse. We blame them for things not working fine in our marriage.
We have to learn to take off our mask, stop hiding and stop blaming our spouse.
Come out real and come out open and not ashamed. Tell your spouse these are your fears, you know it’s wrong and its unhealthy for your marriage. We all have our fears so seek help from your spouse.
2. Take responsibility for your own actions.
One of the toughest things to do is to take responsibility for our own wrong actions and admit we are wrong, we are weak and we need help. Devil’s domain is darkness. He loves it when we lie to our self, deceive ourselves and are ignorant.
The devil likes it when we keep secrets and we don’t own up.
Be vulnerable to your wife or husband. The Bible tells us to admit our faults one to another and to pray for one another then we will experience healing. Even God cannot heal or help us when we hide and keep secrets from him.
3. Turn everything to God and trust Him
God understands our frailty and He wants to be God over our lives. He delights to help us and to take our weakness and give us His strength. I have learnt now that the only way I can survive a day is to spend my waking moment with God.
I tell Him my weaknesses, my pains, failures, fears, anxieties, and turn them over to God. I consider myself as not having so many strengths, except the strength God grants me. That keeps me running to God always for His help.
When we do this everyday, we give God our weaknesses then He is able to give us His strength and that is what we need to keep our marriage running.
May God help us to deal with our fears
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I conquer my fears
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, we receive Grace as a couple to deal with our fears
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
2Co 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Talk sincerely about your fears
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
VERY IMPORTANT LINKS
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Sophia Bolanle Okunowo pastors alongside her husband at Shouts Of Grace Center in Ibadan. She is an administrator with a Health Provider company. She desires to see marriages blessed and fulfilling it’s purpose.