Dear Pastor, I Love My Spouse, But….

Dear Pastor, I Love My Spouse, But….

The ability to enjoy whatever God has given to us despite the imperfections is the maturity that takes for happiness in life and marriage.

It is in loving our spouse unconditionally that makes marriage beautiful and fulfilling. We all have so many buts, we can choose to or choose not to consider in our spouse.

Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. It means if we choose to walk in love we can ignore or better still, hand our spouse flaws to God.

This prayer becomes handy, Lord give us Grace to change the things we can change and the courage to leave the ones we cannot.

When we hand over such things to God, we should know that God is capable of handling them in His own way. Once in God’s hands, we should rest and trust in His love.

What most people do is that they give God and then collect it back. God knows what best to do to change a man. There is no overnight transformation. Even God appreciates the process of gradual change or transformation.

Rom 12:2 GNB
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.

I’m I asking us to keep quiet and suffer in silence? No. Neither am I justifying wrong behaviors or any character flaws or defects. Most of the character flaws we see in marriage were already there as singles. It only became amplified in marriage.

An irresponsible man had always had those tendencies , it was only fully expressive in marriage.

If we will not focus on the temperamental differences of our spouse we would have done well.

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So far as what we complain about are our differences, fear not. God will always see us through. Opposite will always attract. You found yourself attracted to your spouse and eventually married him/her because he was different from you.

If you are a fast person you will be attracted to a quiet, easy going person. A serious person will marry a playful person. It is this same differences that later repel us, annoy us and get us aggravated.

Some couple say, I love my spouse but she talks too much, but she is lazy, but she is careless. I love my spouse but he is aggressive, but he works too much, we can’t even go for vacation….and on and on.

What we should do is appreciate and thank God for the difference. Know that God Put the differences there so you can accomplish much in your marriage. Try and let love, understanding and patience have there full course of your lives.

You have to understand that neither you nor your spouse is correct or wrong, it is just about being wired differently, having different opinions and seeing things from different view point and perspectives.

So if you are hoping and thinking, I love my spouse, but…. You have to begin to remove the ‘but’ from your marital dictionary and begin to love your spouse despite their faults. Learn to forgive and forgive fast. Never allow issues to linger for long before seeking to forgive.

Don’t allow ego or pride to finish your marriage.
I know a couple whose marriage is fast heading for the rocks; the wife has chosen to believe she is right and is waiting for her husband to come rolling on the floor begging. The husband too is unwilling to bend saying she is fond of doing that and that he is tired of begging.

The wife has refused to listen to counsel. It is their differences that the devil want to use to scatter their marriage. We are to walk through our differences allowing God to mature us.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I love my spouse and my love covers his/her flaws

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord help me enjoy the wife of my youth

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : Rom 12:2 GNB
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Study your spouse and learn to accept your differences

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Rom 12

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Pastor Sophia Bola Okunowo

Sophia Bolanle Okunowo pastors alongside her husband at Shouts Of Grace Center in Ibadan. She is an administrator with a Health Provider company. She desires to see marriages blessed and fulfilling it's purpose.

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