This is a question every husband would have to answer, maybe not out loud but in the quietness of their hearts.
The role of the husband in leading and being the head is not an easy one. To be able to do an excellent job at this, a good husband must be able to empathise with his wife.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Women are emotional while men are logical. For the logic of men to make some sense to his wife, the husband sometimes have to move from the place of logic and be a little emotional.
He should learn to empathise with the woman he is leading. Feel for her, feel her purse. See through her eyes.
This does not excuse correction, rebuke and reprimand wrong doings. In fact, it is part of leadership to duly correct and reprimand any wrong act. The husband as a leader should not dance to the tune of his wife all of the time.
He has been saddled with the responsibility of deciding and giving direction in the home and marriage. The final decision still falls on him. He should know what and still be in charge of whatever influence his wife has on him.
This will help guard against ungodly and unwise influence.
Every wife feels loved when she is listened to and someone feels what she is saying. There are times when I am saying something and I expect my husband to ‘feel me’. You understand that feeling. When you can’t express what you are feeling with words.
It is one thing for your husband to ‘feel you’ and it is another thing for him to allow that change his stand on an issue. It is a thin line though.
At times, when I and my husband are dealing with an issue and I want him to bend to my side… example maybe I want to spend more time with my parents, he understands how I feel about spending time with them because they are my parents and I love them, but if spending more time with them will affect some other important programmes, he refuses.
He refuses with an explanation; that is being able to empathise with me and based on his leadership position, still take a decision.
He would have ruined the process of both leading me and I being led if he had not empathised with me.
He would have been a cruel leader and an authoritarian leader if he hadn’t put himself in my position to feel what I felt.
Most quarrels in marriage is due to this fact that husbands don’t empathise with their wives.
Women want to know that they are understood.
God bless our home and marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY
I empathise with my wife.
PRAYER FOR TODAY
Ask for an understanding heart.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
1 Peter 3:7 (BBE) And you husbands, give thought to your way of life with your wives, giving honour to the woman who is the feebler vessel, but who has an equal part in the heritage of the grace of life; so that you may not be kept from prayer.
ACTION PLAN FOR TODAY
Discuss emphatically with your wife today.
BIBLE READING FOR TODAY
1 Peter 3:7 (use several translations)
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Sophia Bolanle Okunowo pastors alongside her husband at Shouts Of Grace Center in Ibadan. She is an administrator with a Health Provider company. She desires to see marriages blessed and fulfilling it’s purpose.