Exposing The Canopy Lovers On Your Journey To Marriage

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“Ree, Chuks said he would love to go out with me today again after that ridiculous amount of time we spent together at the movies yesterday,” Debola said.

“Really? I see you two spend time together a lot for years now. I have been meaning to ask, are you people an item?” Ruth asked.

“I don’t know. Chuks hasn’t really said anything about that yet, he only says he enjoys my company,” Debola said.

“Honestly, I used to think you people are an item seeing that he’s always seen with you all the time. Don’t you think it’s about time you speak up and ask him what his intentions are? As far as I’m concerned, seeing him with you all the time is sending the wrong signals to guys that may be interested in you. They’ll think you’re in a relationship with him and they’ll back off. The earlier you ask him what his intentions are the better for you,” Ruth said.

Up here is a typical example of the canopy brothers. They’re not going forward with you, yet they’ll not allow another potential mate to see the road to you. In church they’re always seen with you, going back home they’re with you, coming from work, they’re there. They’re always there usurping your time, they’ll claim they enjoy your company but they’ll never speak up that they see no future with you while you will be there hoping for them to propose or show interest in you and in the process, you block other potential mates away.

It doesn’t take long for people to think you’re in a relationship with someone you’re constantly seen with, and that’s normal because if you sure don’t enjoy someone’s company, you wouldn’t be seen frolicking around with them constantly and in the real sense, both of you can’t even define what you have.

Ephesians 5:15 (NASB) Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.

One way to avoid this happening is to learn to define your relationships with the opposite sex. You’ve got to define them before it defines you. You see, some are not going to propose to you till Jesus comes, yet they’ll keep hanging around you and be blocking the road for those who are interested in you. Don’t let anyone just be hanging around you and be following you up and down like police with no definition of what you have with the person.

Define every relationship you have with the opposite sex, it will save you from heartbreaks and disappointment. At a point in time when you notice you can’t define exactly what you have with this person, that’s the time to speak up and ask the person about their intentions or place some personal boundaries if need be.

Ladies, when a man is getting too close for comfort and he isn’t saying anything, that’s not the time for you to keep shut and be fantasizing about marriage with him. That’s the time to speak up and ask him, “uncle, what are your intentions?”

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Listen, until a man proposes to you, do not assume he wants to marry you. Until a man opens his mouth and proposes to you, don’t assume ‘jack’ for him. That he knows all your family members or he seems to be himself around you doesn’t mean he’ll marry you if he hasn’t defined exactly what he has with you. So, for your own sanity when next a man is getting ‘too close for comfort’ and he isn’t saying anything, know when to draw the line and speak up. Don’t be there making assumptions that he’ll marry you when ‘uncle’ is just there seeing you as his little sister.

Assumptions have wasted so many people’s time, they don’t even realise it until it’s too late; for five years you’re busy hanging around a guy, ‘uncle’ is not saying anything and you too, you remain there playing mute. When will you wake up from your fantasy and ask him what his intentions are?

Don’t allow anyone that does not see a future with you play the role of a fiance or fiancee to you. Don’t sleep in a world of illusion; by the time you wake up from that slumber, suitors may have been gone. Suitors won’t wait for you when they see that one brother is always hanging around you all the time. Be wise now and get rid of all those canopy brothers and sisters that see no future with you, yet they want you around them all the time. They’re typical time wasters and deceivers. You’re not only sending the wrong signal to the one who God has prepared for you, but also delaying your marriage by indulging in them.

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I define my relationships.

Teach me Lord to recognise a deceiver from afar.

Psalm 26:4 (NASB) I do not sit with deceitful men, Nor will I go with pretenders.

Identify the canopy lover in your life and uproot them from that position.

Psalm 26

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  • Jesupelumi says:

    I define my relationships

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