He Cheated On Me!

He Cheated On Me!

My husband cheated on me with someone I know while I was 8th month pregnant. She even attended our wedding, I was so pained because I never thought he could cheat on me. I trusted him totally that I didn’t suspect, he told me he was going to school, meanwhile he didn’t head straight to school, he met with the lady in the guest house his office provides.

I didn’t even suspect him at all when I got to know, I was only checking his phone one morning, when my eyes just went to this chats with the lady. I didn’t know what to do, so I called my dad cos we are very close, he asked me to confront him but never let him know he’s aware

I couldn’t even tell my mom then, because I did not want her to hate him.
I confronted him, he denied at first, but eventually he confessed. He begged me not to tell anybody not even my family, I didn’t bother telling him I already did.

He said I pushed him out, he was always begging me for sex and i didn’t allow him ( sir, I was very sick during my pregnancy and my hubby was aware, in fact I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy for a single day, the idea of sex didn’t appeal to me at all, but despite that I didn’t deny him of sex all through, just when I was nauseated)

Anyways, after the confrontation, I expected that my husband would be sober and be very sorry for his actions. But he wasn’t, he was always aggressive towards me, my mother-in-law came to take care of our baby after I put to bed, one day we had a disagreement, then my hubby started telling her about my shortcomings, I was pushed to tell her.

But to my dismay my mother-in-law said my hubby was not wrong, that what is the big deal, “has he brought the woman in question home, that even if my parents hear they won’t do anything.” I was so shocked that someone who I felt would reprimand her son, but she was even giving him the go ahead right in my presence

Sir, I am tired of it all. I can’t seem to forgive my husband, each time I remember the incidence, my hatred for him would just be aroused. I really don’t know what to do that’s why I’ve decided to voice it out. To make matters worse, my husband doesn’t even sleep with me anymore, I had to practically beg him to come back to the room because his excuse was our baby cries during the night and he has to go to work and she disturbs him.

Our baby doesn’t cry during the night again, he now sleeps off in the sitting room while watching TV. But sometimes comes to the room.
Sir, if I don’t touch my husband, he won’t touch me, I’ve complained to him twice, the first time he said I pushed the instinct out of him.
The second time he said who said he must instigate it first.
I even told my mum, she said I should not beg him again that I’m not a prostitute. Please, members of KHC, advise me.

Pastor Dunamis Tunde Okunowo

Husband of one. Father of Three. Mentor of thousands. Impact to nations. Addicted writer. Web Developer. Pastor at Shouts of Grace Center, Ibadan, Nigeria. Facilitator of Kisses and Huggs Club. Follow on Instagram HERE

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Pastor Sophia

    Unfortunately, this has happened and it is very sad but you have to against all odds fight for your marriage. Get ready while fighting for your home the devil will cause discouragements, your husband will hurt you more, but let your resolve be strong.

    People will disappoint you so dont bother with people. Is your husband a believer? You have to start praying but pray strategically. What will happen is that the situation will first change you. You have to determine to change you positively. Dont become bitter become better. A better, stronger, forgiving person.

    Get books that can help you on the internet, dont go through this alone, get prayer points and pray for home. See the movie Warroom. Seek counsel together
    God will grant you Mercy and intervene.

    Let God convict him, I am sure He will. Put the situation in to Gods hands

    1. Fatima Almeida

      I agree wit pastor Sophia, it’s only God that can intervene nd can help you to forgive him. Be willing nd open so that God can help you. Also be very prayful and don’t give up, nothing is impossible with God, try nd read books about marriage nd forgiveness. Keep doin your duties as a wife nd try not to argue or show bitterness towards him.
      I pray God give u wisdom, cis I knw its not easy.

  2. Asogba Elizabeth

    The first thing to do is to teach your mind how to forgive him, see it that he has begged you because without having the mindset of forgiveness it will b difficult for you to carry out any step that will amend your family, after that dedicate your time for prayer and the word of God and also read other related books as Pastor Sophia has explained. Pls don’t think of divorce, it is not the best solution…Thanks

  3. Chinedu

    Though you are going through a tough time now, I trust that God will see you through in these trying time. The devil wants to destroy your marriage, but if you do not give him a foothold, he will not succeed.
    First, there are things important for you to go through this stage.
    1. You will have to give your life to Christ if you have not, and trust him to guide you each step of the way.
    2. Though your husband has offended you, you will deliberately choose to forgive him, it is not going to be easy, but you have to see him from the eyes of a human who can make mistakes, and ask the Lord to help you heal and forgive him. If you can do this, you will do yourself a lot of good as it will help you to channel your prayers and your next actions properly.

    1 Peter 3:1-2: In the same way, you wives, be [a]submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, 2 when they see your modest and respectful behaviour [together with your devotion and appreciation—love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God].

    Look at the above scripture, you can see that you will be able to steer your husbands’ heart to God and aright in your home, but you have a part to play.
    a. Pray for him during this period daily, and ask God to forgive you, additionally ask God to steer his heart back to your home and to your family.
    b. But if it is possible, ask him to pray together with you in the morning (before the day starts) and night (before both of you sleeps). If the family altar is broken, the devil warms his way in easily. If he does not agree at first, do not force him, give some time praying on your own and try again.
    c. Do not be negative towards him/try to argue so much with him.
    d. Welcome him home every day with open arms and serve his meals, and do your duties as his wife.
    e. Try as much as possible to avoid sounding or acting suspiciously around him, checking or confronting his chats/phone conversations. Just know that if the Lord begins to lead him, all will be settled.

    Prayerfully watch these movies – Fireproof and War Room, you will learn one thing or two about handling your spouse. Make notes and ask God to help you.

    As a couple, there is no formula for initiating sex, any of you can, If you are led to initiate it and he always responds to it, please go ahead, he will come around. You are a daughter of Zion NOT a prostitute, and initiating sex does/will never make you one in your marriage. Enjoy your marital bed.

    Do not be surprised at parent’s advice towards marital issues as they may not share the same godly marital foundations as you know, but rather forgive them and pray for them also. If possible, do not share issues that happen in your home with your parents rather to a godly/trusted Pastor or with KHC family. If you receive any advice, subject that advice to the word of God before you act, it will help a lot.

    I will tell you that this process will not be easy but trust God to help you as long as it takes, God will see you through. I will be praying for you, May God give you the grace.

  4. Sylvester Obinna

    First, you should forgive him.
    It may not be easy, but you must.

    Second, pray for him.
    Pray genuinely and sincerely from your heart.

    Third, find a mentor or a pastor you both respect and talk to him/her.

    God will strengthen you.

  5. John Oluwawalemi

    I believe the choice to open up about this (anonymously) is a good choice, instead of keeping it all to yourself. Like it’s said a problem shared is a problem half solved. I thank God for the parents he has given us in the person of Pastor Dunamis and Sophia who are anointed and have wisdom to deal with this situation.

    From my perspective this is the advise I will say first and foremost

    1. Remember that God loves you, God’s love is not defined by external circumstances, it is defined by the Word of God.

    2. Spend more time with the word, meditate on it. We are all humans, when things are not going according to plan we all have the tendency to worry, but when our minds are filled with the word of God, when pressures come, like a sponge full of water, what will come out is the word, and therein lines our victory.

    3. Pray: Prayer is powerful, I believe midnight prayers specifically will help in this matter. The midnight is a very sensitive time in the realm of the spirit.

    God’s grace will see you through, like job, you will come out on top and victorious.

  6. Oladayo McGod

    I guess Pst Sophia had said what I had in mind to say after reading your story in full.
    I would say you need to forgive him totally, you seem to be having a hard time doing that. You both need to sit together pray and discuss this matter. Don’t sweep it under the carpet because it’s not fully over… You weren’t happy about his mum’s response and this made you feel more terrible. On this note you both need to agree that your relationship is only accountable to God and the spiritual mentors you both choose, family would always be biased.

    Take out time to pray and pray all over again about your marriage, the devil can’t have this one. Close up the gap now before it escalates more.
    God will lead you

  7. Elizabeth Agwu

    I felt so sad reading your story, but I want you to know that there are women in worse situations with their husbands, than yours.
    For starters, I think you should watch the movie, ‘War room’ or read the ebook. Your husband isn’t your enemy here, it’s the devil that’s the real enemy. And he’ll stop at nothing to try to destroy your marriage. So submit every part of your life and everything to God. Then you can resist the devil, and he’ll flee in seven directions from you and your family.
    It’s not going to be easy at first but believe me, consistency in the place of prayer and maintaining a positive attitude towards your husband, no matter what he does, will win this battle.
    I look forward to your testimony, I know it’s on the way already…
    All the best ma’am.

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