Check out the following conversation between Tola and Dele.
“You really don’t care about me. All you care about is yourself!! You don’t give a hoot about my needs or my wants in any way!!!” Tola exploded in anger at a shocked Dele.
“How in the world can you speak like someone who is not in her right mind? Is everything all right with you?” He retorted. His response was like fuel to her fire.
“Heeeey! God!! So you are saying I am craaazy!! No Dele, insult me, insult the future mother of your unborn children! Ah! What am I even saying? I don’t even know if I am still going to get married to you. Mtecww!” she hissed.
“Wow! Wasn’t it just yesterday when we were at Dominos? I bought you everything you requested for. How am I selfish??” His contorted face captured the picture of a man doing his best possible to contain his anger.
‘Hmmmm! So everything is about buying me things in this life abi? Let me show you how selfish you are.” folding her arms, she faced him squarely.
“Two days ago, after our hangout, who was the first to say “I love you”? Me.
Just yesterday, after our hangout, who said “I love you” first? Me! Again! This has been a trend and I don’t like it Dele, I don’t like it!”
“You have got to be kidding me. We are not having this argument right now. I’d come back when you are a lot calmer” a stunned Dele answered, walking away from her parents’ living room at the same time.
“Oh my Goodness! You are leaving Dele, I am not done oo…” Tola replied, chasing after him.
Now, compare the scenario above with the one below:
“Babe, there’s a story I’d like to tell you. Are you listening?” asked Tola
“Ah! Since when did you become a story teller?” Dele asked, smiling as he drove.
“Stop joor”, Tola said, slightly punching his shoulders.
“Hahahahahahah! All right! All right, you got me, I am listening.”
“Finally, thank you for your audience sir! It is about a couple yeah? They were good together, and played together but the fiancé didn’t like telling his fiancée how much he loves her. It was always the fiancée telling the fiancé how much he loves her. What do you think about my story?” Tola asked a puzzled Dele.
“I think the fiancée is over reacting because if her fiancée didn’t love her in the first place, he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him. Babe, this is really strange though because I feel like you are talking about us. Are you?” Dele asked, turning towards her with one raised eyebrow.
“Yes, I have a smart guy!” Tola giggled. “Now I know why you don’t say you love me all the time. But I would like to hear you say it more often though.” She whispered with a fake frown on her face.
“I am so sorry Babe. I love you so much.” Dele whispered back, as he held her hands in his free hand.
“It’s okay Babe. I love you too.” A smiling Tola responded.
I hope you got the difference. It was the same issue but a different approach helped resolve the conflict.
The above scenario shows us that every single relationship on planet earth has some sort of issue or the other. It is only natural because two different people from two different backgrounds coming together will have rough edges that need smoothening out.
As we saw, the conflict is not the problem. This is why surprise shouldn’t hit you when you find yourself and your super godly partner having an argument.
This is bound to happen especially if both partners aren’t speaking their love languages.
The real issue is dealing with conflicts. How do you handle the conflicts when they come? That is the real question.
So you want your partner to probably be more chatty or to verbally express his or her love for you more often than he or she does, for example.
It doesn’t have to be degenerate into a heated argument as expressed in the first scenario. You can always express yourself using humor.
May the Lord grant more understanding in Jesus name. Amen.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I handle conflicts in my relationship with the wisdom of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Holy Spirit, help me to always handle conflict with my partner your way in Jesus name.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Conflicts don’t have to degenerate into heated arguments.
ACTION PLAN OF THE DAY
Think about ways you can creatively use humour to resolve conflicts in your relationship.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Prov. 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
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I am Oshams, writer, blogger, soon-to-be author and Word-Lover.