How To Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness In Marriage

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Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When we are flourishing, safe, lucky, we feel happy.
One of the best ways to ruin a good marriage is to make your spouse responsible for your happiness. Of course your spouse should be a positive element that contributes to your happiness in marriage, but he or she is not responsible for it.

Marriages may be made in heaven but they have to be lived on earth. As humans, we all have personal standards that we expect other people to meet. We get disappointed when people fail to act the way we hoped or expected. Is it really what they do that hurts us, or is it our own unrealistic expectations that set us up for the pain we feel when they don’t perform to our standards?

For example, long before I got married, I stopped depending on anyone except God for my happiness. I also learnt from my husband that peace and joy in life should not be dependent on my circumstances.

The reality of a marriage is finding a solution to the everyday annoyance that we are to our spouses and they to us.
The truth is nobody can make you happy, not your spouse, not your friends, not your job, and not your parents. Having people in your life can bring happiness, but that alone is not sustaining.

We are here to love and serve each other, but it is not each person’s responsibility to make someone else happy. That is a heavy burden for someone to bear if they are required to make and keep someone else happy.

Who then is responsible for my happiness?
Are you possibly trying to make someone else responsible for things that only you can do something about?

See the way scriptures put it;

“Don’t point your finger at someone else and try to pass the blame! ….
Hosea 4:4 (NLT)

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The truth is that you are responsible for your own happiness.
Be in charge of your happiness. Happiness is something that you cultivate internally. Happiness is from within. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness today. Stop expecting people to do for you what you should, in reality, be doing for yourself or trusting God to do for you.

Your happiness needs to be rested on a real foundation which is the Word of God. God is the source of true joy and happiness. Put your trust in God, take responsibility for your attitudes and actions, and stop blaming others.

If you are not happy, I suggest you look inward before you look around you to find something or someone to blame.

Steps to find your happiness:

1. Release your spouse from burdens he or she is not meant to carry, then (s)he will be able to focus more on what matters

2. Study the word of God. Find what it says about joy, peace and love.

3. Count the good things in your life, your blessings. He daily loads us with benefits

4. Be happy for each other. Instead of trying to find happiness within each other, be happy for each other. Find happiness together. Be excited and proud of each other’s accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

5. Serve your spouse, do for him or her what you wish they would do for you.

6. Ask God for guidance and direction

7. Choose to be happy.

God bless your marriage.

I take personal responsibility for my joy and happiness.

Father, pour upon me Your Spirit of joy, that I will remain joyful irrespective of any prevailing circumstances.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 | NIV

Take responsibility for your own happiness.

Habakkuk 3:17-18, Isaiah 61:10.

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