Chloe and her husband of six years, Charis always had something to disagree about in their marriage.
One time, it was Charis’ loud snoring; at another time it was Chloe’s refusal to lay her side of the bed.
The other time, it was Chloe sulking because Charis forgot to get her own personal items on the shopping list.
On another day, Charis complained that his wife, Chloe made him go late to work because she did not get the kids ready for school early enough.
The list is endless.
The truth of the matter is conflicts are inevitable but couples can learn to deal with conflicts in an healthy way as they arise.
Every marriage has its own tension days and how these days are handled can either make or mar the marriage. It can either lead to more bonding between couples or create a bigger gap in marriage.
What are the healthy ways of resolving conflicts in marriage?
1. Understand you are different from your spouse.
No two human beings are created the same. We all are unique and wired differently.
Coming to the reality that your partner can never be like you goes a long way in settling some scores.
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
As much as you don’t seem to understand why your spouse behave so irrationally sometimes, understand that he/she is different.
I used to rant about how my husband is such an early sleeper when we newly got married. The next thing he does after dinner was to zoom off to bed of which I’m a complete opposite, beside the night crawler that I am. But then, I came to this understanding that we are wired differently and this has helped me to go to bed early enough and this has helped me stay more active the following day.
Funny enough, these differences formed part of the reason we chose our spouses in the first place. So, understand and celebrate those differences.
2. Communicate more often.
Talk, talk and talk some more. Hold quality discussions. Understand that I said talk, not nag. Create the right avenue for your discussions and discuss as subtly as possible.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 KJV).
Hold mature conversations and understand that you are meant to resolve whatever misunderstanding you have at that moment and not to hurt the other. So, endeavour to a healthy agreement at the end of the day as this will toughen the bond between you two.
Find the right time to talk, when you both have unwind from the day’s activities and have each other’s maximum attention. Be ready to listen and be ready to compromise.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am committed to fighting fair in my marriage. As we apply the principles taught today on resolving conflicts, my spouse and I enjoy a stronger bond and a flourishing family (Amen)
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord Jesus, help my spouse and I to always resolve any conflict we have in an healthy way, not to bring each other down but to enjoy a long lasting relationship (Amen)
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.(Proverbs 29:11 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Do you have an outstanding conflict yet to be resolved? Find time to discuss it with your spouse today in a loving way.
BIBLE READING FOR TODAY
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Oluwatoyin is a wife, teacher and a lover of God. She loves to see people living their lives in the most amazing way, thereby becoming useful to one another.