Responding In Love In Our Marriage

Responding In Love In Our Marriage

It is not just the wife that needs to be schooled on how to respond, husbands also need to know how to respond in a way that is not offensive.

We all come from various backgrounds and as said a number of times, our background usually affects the way we behave, our value and almost every other thing.

Some of us have the bad habit of responding in ways that may boomerang into a negative behavior from our spouse.

Example, some give the silence treatment, some respond in anger, some with tears, some by shouting, some by being judgmental, critical, shaming and rejecting their spouse.

It should be noted that it is our response to our spouse’ verbal and non verbal communication that will inform whether the communication will be sustained or not or whether it will turn to an argument.

My husband talks more and plays more than I do. He used to tell me that I give him the silent treatment. I had to be schooled that not only is silent treatment rude, it is so unpleasant. I had to change my behavior.

Change is the only constant thing and we must not be rigid but always willing to change. We change to suit our spouse and our spouse also changes to suit us. That is the work that marriage entails.

We can get away with some of our negative responses based on our spouse temperament. You can’t compare how a Choleric will react to how a Sanguine will react to a negative response.

For every single issue, event, situation and circumstances, there is always a good or bad response. We should always keep in mind that in every situation, we should learn to be pleasant and be a Christian at least, lol.

We should allow our responses to reveal the fruits of the spirit within us.

Gal 5:22 KJV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Husbands and wives be gentle with each other. Being a man doesn’t mean you cannot be gentle.

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Let us as wives too be willing to suffer long with our husband. When the resources are not enough, let us be found still standing by our husbands. When things get better they will respect us forever (for men that are sane).

Don’t let our response be that of complaint like Jobs wife

Job 2:9 KJV
Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.

What will inform our good responses all of the time is the help of God. We all need God’s help not to blow it.

If we do miss the mark, we should not build a tabernacle there. Let’s be quick to ask for forgiveness and learn from our mistake.

Let us understand that our response has the ability to hurt our spouse deeply. Our response matters a lot.

My husband told me how much my response affects him and either gives him the energy to pursue or to give up.

Imagine if Dave Meyer has responded to Joyce Meyers call to Ministry in a nonchalant way, how would Joyce be so impactful?

Let’s be careful, lest we be found guilty of being an hindrance to our husbands or wives fulfilling purpose and destiny.

May God help us.

God bless our marriage

I walk in the spirit and not in the flesh, so I respond well to my spouse

Lord, help me yield to the dictates of the spirit

My repose is important to my spouse

Write down 2 areas you want to change your response to your spouse

1 Cor 13

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Pastor Sophia Bola Okunowo

Sophia Bolanle Okunowo pastors alongside her husband at Shouts Of Grace Center in Ibadan. She is an administrator with a Health Provider company. She desires to see marriages blessed and fulfilling it's purpose.

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