It is not just the wife that needs to be schooled on how to respond, husbands also need to know how to respond in a way that is not offensive.
We all come from various backgrounds and as said a number of times, our background usually affects the way we behave, our value and almost every other thing.
Some of us have the bad habit of responding in ways that may boomerang into a negative behavior from our spouse.
Example, some give the silence treatment, some respond in anger, some with tears, some by shouting, some by being judgmental, critical, shaming and rejecting their spouse.
It should be noted that it is our response to our spouse’ verbal and non verbal communication that will inform whether the communication will be sustained or not or whether it will turn to an argument.
My husband talks more and plays more than I do. He used to tell me that I give him the silent treatment. I had to be schooled that not only is silent treatment rude, it is so unpleasant. I had to change my behavior.
Change is the only constant thing and we must not be rigid but always willing to change. We change to suit our spouse and our spouse also changes to suit us. That is the work that marriage entails.
We can get away with some of our negative responses based on our spouse temperament. You can’t compare how a Choleric will react to how a Sanguine will react to a negative response.
For every single issue, event, situation and circumstances, there is always a good or bad response. We should always keep in mind that in every situation, we should learn to be pleasant and be a Christian at least, lol.
We should allow our responses to reveal the fruits of the spirit within us.
Gal 5:22 KJV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Husbands and wives be gentle with each other. Being a man doesn’t mean you cannot be gentle.
Let us as wives too be willing to suffer long with our husband. When the resources are not enough, let us be found still standing by our husbands. When things get better they will respect us forever (for men that are sane).
Don’t let our response be that of complaint like Jobs wife
Job 2:9 KJV
Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
What will inform our good responses all of the time is the help of God. We all need God’s help not to blow it.
If we do miss the mark, we should not build a tabernacle there. Let’s be quick to ask for forgiveness and learn from our mistake.
Let us understand that our response has the ability to hurt our spouse deeply. Our response matters a lot.
My husband told me how much my response affects him and either gives him the energy to pursue or to give up.
Imagine if Dave Meyer has responded to Joyce Meyers call to Ministry in a nonchalant way, how would Joyce be so impactful?
Let’s be careful, lest we be found guilty of being an hindrance to our husbands or wives fulfilling purpose and destiny.
May God help us.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I walk in the spirit and not in the flesh, so I respond well to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me yield to the dictates of the spirit
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
My repose is important to my spouse
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Write down 2 areas you want to change your response to your spouse
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
1 Cor 13
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Sophia Bolanle Okunowo pastors alongside her husband at Shouts Of Grace Center in Ibadan. She is an administrator with a Health Provider company. She desires to see marriages blessed and fulfilling it’s purpose.