I am married with two kids at present. I got pregnant a little about two months before our wedding. But prior to that time, I have been having some kind of sexual relations (kissing, touching, and later on, sex) with my husband-to-be,  which I wasn’t quite comfortable with. The truth is that was how we started off the relationship. I showed my dissatisfaction with the way we were handling things, but oga did not see reasons with me oh.

The excuse oga gave me on one occasion was that we were already married since we had agreed to get married. He said that was biblical marriage and gave me some instances. I fell for it oh, or should I say I didn’t believe it entirely but kept on doing everything my conscience wasn’t in agreement with because I hadn’t felt the amount of love he showered me with in a long long while. I mean this man loves me so much, even to date.
So fast forward to when we got married, when I discovered I was 9 weeks pregnant I felt very heartbroken. He is a medical personnel, he knew what we would have done to protect our image in the eyes of men, but didn’t succumb to any of those. He never even suggested it.

That further boosted my confidence in his love for me though.
Now my problem is he is talking about starting a ministry and automatically I become a pastor’s wife. Our lives will no longer be as quiet as they used to be. I fear that this thing that I feel very bad about will now be in the eye of the public seeing that obviously the time after my wedding and the birth of my firstborn is obviously less than 9 months.
And how will I preach sexual chastity before marriage to the youths? When I know I failed
I also remember that at one time, in a bid to convince him to agree with me, I told him I have a lot of people looking up to me and would like to live a life worthy of emulation. But the response I got is “are you living your life for people?”. Now what I feared most has befallen me.

Note: we did our introduction  a year before our wedding. ( The reason I added this is to know if in the real sense since we did our introduction already getting pregnant before the wedding wasn’t really wrong?)
Lessons I learned from the experience

1. God can not be mocked what a man sows same shall he reap. I thought people will never find out, and that was why even though I wasn’t comfortable doing it I never took a drastic decision to stop it entirely
2. Stand for what you believe (as long as it aligns with the scriptures), in the end, you will be glad you did
Looking forward to your response
Thank you for this platform. God bless you

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