My husband is the sweetest person. Everyone thinks he is the best husband in the world. But I am suffocating, he manipulates me I can’t even explain it. I am tired. He behaves like he supports me openly but makes me feel like I am not enough subtly. I used to live in his shadow, I made decisions that he wanted but it was me that made them. Once he does not have full control of anything I am doing, that thing will not stand. I am never enough, I even contemplated suicide at some point but then discovered I was pregnant. Recently I got a managerial role and because I refused to do my job according to his prescription he has tagged me rude and stubborn.
Not to forget since I got my job he does not give money for feeding for the house. He works in a different location. If we are in a fix and need money urgently he can just say he does not have money and that is it.
I am tired, I cannot write everything here but I am tired.
He gaslight me at every opportunity.
If I disagree with anything he says he starts throwing a tantrum. He can decide not to pick my calls for days as a form of punishment for something I said or did.
What annoys me is that he uses Christianity and Bible, every one sees him as a Saint and all I want is to disconnect myself from his selfish self. My husband does not shout .
We have 3 children, till now we have not paid their school fees and we are struggling financially, he is doing 2 more masters and wants to register for 2 more programs this year that will cost a lot of money. He keeps telling everyone how I have refused to start my masters but everything I have asked for money he will not give me. I am cash trapped, I work but I am responsible for running the house and paying our transport, replacing what our kids needs.
The new one he started is that ” are we equal in the marriage?” How can you be saying you are new generation husbands that give their wives space to express themselves and still get angry because I have an opinion. He cannot stand if I am firm.
Anytime we have issues and I am fed up he will come with sending me texts of how everything he is doing is for us and how I am the center of his world, he will behave as if nothing happened, no apology no explanation. Earlier in our marriage I used to apologise for everything both when I was wrong and when I was In my right.
Everyone thinks I am lucky, most things my husband bought for me that he can use he has stylish collected it, phone, laptop, and he also carries any good thing that I have that he can use. If I try to resist he will remind me of all the things he has done for me. From the money I make I still send him money some time when he is cash trapped.
I got 2 virtual job offer that I declined because I am still struggling to keep up with my job responsibilities and my husband was angry.
I can continue to write because we have been married for 6 years.
His parents are separated and they are alot of things he does and they are the exact things he complains about either his mom or dad. He does not understand the basic functionality of a family.
I grow up in a very different set of conditions, my family is tightly knitted and we look out for each other. I decided awhile ago that instead of me to receive help from my husband I will rather die. And just recently I have decided not to eat or use his money or resources for anything that is personal. I prefer to starve to death.
I am frustrated, my husband called me wasteful and said I don’t manage things well in the house, according to him with the economy the food I and my children are eating is too much quality (iI make natural spices and have a small garden for spice). I don’t remember the last time I bought milk in my house, the last chicken we eat was Christmas or when we go to my mom’s place.
For 6 years I never reported my husband to anyone, I have tried to manage and be a Christian wife.
I have gone to meet my mother to tell her I want to separate from my husband, I am losing my mind.
I have not told him anything, but I will C]contact his spiritual father to tell him I am not doing again. They will tell him.
Marriage is not for me!
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